“Can you believe the audacity?”
Someone has said something or done something that took some serious nerve. And that someone has ticked a nerve.
“Seriously, the nerve.”
“I can’t believe they did that…” paired with a face of disgust or maybe…awe?
There’s a woman who frequents the local bar I go to. And when she comes in, your eyes can’t help but follow her to the counter, where she greets the staff with a bright face and waits for her drink. I’ve seen her wear an assortment of fantastically non-everyday outfits, outfits that make me think: You do you, girl. I’d never be the one to wear that. But she has the audacity. And I’m in awe of her.
Audacity has been the word of the week as I read Julia’s Cameron The Artist’s Way, which explains that artists need to have the audacity to create something and say, “Look at me. You see this: this here is art, and I made it. I am an artist.” I had the audacity back in high school. I was lucky enough to go to a school that incubated audacious young creators like me. And then unleashed us into the world.
And here I am, leashed up and very much un-audacious.
Over time, a number of things were added to the pot that took away my sweet, audacious flair. And every so often, I feel that audacity banging against its rearing head against the doors, screaming LET ME OUT! YOU MISS ME, AND YOU KNOW IT! But as the pounding gets louder, I tuck myself away in the corner, afraid to let it free.
That was then.
Now is now, a few days into the new year, and on my way to begin a new chapter in my life. And today, I felt the brazen thought tickle the lock: It’s time.
ME: But what if—
AUDACITY: Ah! Stop right there. No what if. Do it.
ME: No, seriously, what if no one likes it? What if it’s for nothing? And no one–I dunno.
AUDACITY: You’ve done it before. Yes, it was safer before. You were cocooned. But you’re not writing or creating for anyone else. This is for you. You are an artist, so art. Share what you’ve got to say, and if no one’s pickin’ up what you’re puttin’ down, screw ‘em. Do it anyway.
So, here I am. Puttin’ it down. And if this post is riddled with errors, so be it. I needed to write this to be heard and maybe seen. To put the mirror up to you and say, “BE EXTRAORDINARILY AUDACIOUS.”
It’s your turn, and your time too.
x.x - a.b. lee
